Greetings from Newport, RI! Today is my second day of an eight day residency for my master’s degree program in creative writing and I am positively giddy. Since you’re not all writers, here’s how I can best relate it: think of your most obsessive interest or hobby. Got it? OK, now imagine getting to spend a week gathering with other people who are equally obsessed, learning new information, and forging important connections within that field. And, if you’re a parent, imagine not having to cook, clean, do laundry, make any major decisions, or be called “Mom” for a whole week. That is my current reality, and it is absolutely as wonderful as it sounds.
My kids and I spend a lot of time together. Like A LOT. So I did have some flashes of guilt over the past week as I was preparing for this adventure, knowing that their lives would be upended so I could attend the adult equivalent of summer camp. But something that I’m hellbent on teaching my kids is that while I am in love with the life we get to lead on a daily basis, I am also a whole, unique, autonomous person apart from my role as their mom. What better way to do that than to give myself permission to pursue a dream that has absolutely nothing to do with them?
And now that I’m here, I’m experiencing that bones-deep knowing that this is exactly where I’m supposed to be at this moment in my life. And honestly? I’m really proud that I didn’t let my fear or guilt or worries about time and money and return on investment talk me out of something I’ve always wanted to do. Well, I’m really proud that I didn’t let them derail me permanently. Seven months ago, I confessed to my husband that I felt as if my time for writing a novel had passed me by. I had tried so hard over the years to make it happen, and I felt that an MFA was the missing ingredient for me personally. I needed the accountability. I craved the community. I wanted so badly to sit around and talk shop with other writers, picking apart our favorite works and discussing pacing and characterization and world building.
“So why not see what MFA programs are out there?” my husband asked, ever the pragmatist.
“Because they’re expensive and I don’t have the time to dedicate to a degree. It’s not like I can just pack up and go live somewhere for two years,” I whined.
But the thought kept nagging at me, and a few Google searches led me to discover that there was such thing as a “low residency MFA program,” one of which was being offered at Salve Regina University, right over the border in Rhode Island. I would only have to live on campus for a week every semester, and the rest would be done remotely. I got all the way to the last step of the application before deciding not to submit. At the time, my fears loomed too large and the voice of reason was too quiet. Despite all the reminder emails to finish my application, the deadline came and went, and my application remained unfinished.
But over the next few months, the voice in my head began to grow louder. This particular dream did not want to be put on hold again. I told my husband and no one else: “I’m going to submit my application for the fall semester, and not think about anything beyond that. If I get in, then we’ll talk about the details and make the best decision we can.”
Which is exactly what we did. Two weeks later, I got the acceptance letter. Everyone else seemed more sure of the “yes” than I did, at first. My husband, my family, my friends. Even our financial advisor asked, “What’s your gut feeling?” before he asked any details about cost.
“100% yes,” I told him.
“OK,” he said, “then the question is not will you go, but how do you afford it in a way that works for your family’s goals?”
And now here I am, all those pesky details worked out and a resounding yes thrumming through my whole body. I’m living in a dorm! I’m eating cafeteria food! I’m making new friends! I’m exploring a beautiful new area! I’m talking about books all the live long day! It’s all so exciting and so affirming. Sometimes you just have to trust the YES and not ask too many more questions.
That all sounds amazing!! Happy writing! 💛
So so happy for you! Enjoy!