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Lani V. Cox's avatar

Yessss to this. And I'm totally okay with FOMO. I use apps on my phone like toolbox, in other words, I take them out when I need them. Now I want those damn LL Bean slippers... 😅

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Melissa Mowry's avatar

I like that approach. A toolbox is a good way to describe it. (and you should totally get the slippers!)

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Mika's avatar

This is very timely. I am feeling huge pressure to know how “best” to use my time. I don’t want to live a life with regrets and with my ADHD, I often just do whatever catches my attention, then because I’m forgetful, I think, what the heck have I done with this past week, month. 🙈

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Melissa Mowry's avatar

I hear you on this 100%. The way I tend to manage my hyperactive thoughts is to put strict rules on how I can spend my energy and attention, which doesn't feel like the right solution either. I hope to someday find a nice middle ground where I can let my attention flow with a bit more ease.

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Holly Sawchuk's avatar

A million new books a year?! Well, now I'm really not going to catch up. Loved all of this. Down with all those apps that just bring overwhelm.

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Melissa Mowry's avatar

haha exactly. It's like Ann said yesterday: some things you have to just chalk up to a loss and call it good. Like the millions of books we'll never read.

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Aly Prades's avatar

I feel like you wrote this from inside my brain. I'm going to try out "paying more attention to what inserts itself into my field of awareness without me having to chase it down."

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Melissa Mowry's avatar

I’m excited to hear how it goes Aly!

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Aly Prades's avatar

I’ll let you know! I’m curious if you have the some overwhelming experience with Substack, and if so, do you have anything that’s helped lessen the overwhelm and comparison?

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Melissa Mowry's avatar

I have definitely struggled with it being overwhelming, very much the same feeling I get in the library/bookstore. So many amazing posts written by so many brilliant minds!! I use the website Unroll.me to manage my email inbox and I just decided last week to try "rolling up" (putting a bunch of emails into one) all my Substack emails so I only get one a day. A digest of sorts. But honestly I may not even read them on there. I only use Substack on my computer (ditto w/ email) so I may just read them on that top bar that showcases all the posts you haven't yet read from your subscriptions. And I do like to dedicate a little chunk of time each day to browsing my feed and seeing what the people I follow have to say. I'm trying to get better at time-blocking and I think it could be really helpful here: set aside a certain amount of time for Substack each day and then, once it's gone, it's gone.

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Aly Prades's avatar

I like the idea of time blocking to make sure I don’t get into a mindless scroll or panic comparison paralysis. I tried a little experiment today and re-downloaded the Substack app, gathered some yummy snacks (Milton’s gf crackers and spinach artichoke bitchin’ sauce), and caught up on posts from my kids’ treehouse. Acting like it’s a treat instead of a chore worked wonders and I was able to actually soak in and enjoy others’ words.

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Lara's avatar

Hello Aly! I read your comment and I feel overwhelmed with substack. I decided to check only the 2/3 publication I support and deleted the app. Is less tempting to scroll and be overwhelmed with all the articles. I know that I will probably won't read other good articles but for the moment I decided to try this way and I tell you is working. Maybe this could work for you too 😊

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Aly Prades's avatar

Thanks for sharing, Lara! Yeah, I could use a Substack audit. I love to support other authors so once a week I try to go in and at least like every post. I might try out a similar approach Melissa outlined above and spend the majority of my time commenting and sharing the work of writers that are naturally coming into my path and life. For example, I’m currently in a creativity cohort, so for this season I want to read and comment on my colleagues work.

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Aly Prades's avatar

And Lara, I’ve been deleting the app off my phone, too, and that has helped with the overwhelm—especially when I should be doing other things.

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Lara's avatar

This was really helpful to me too!!

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katie morley's avatar

Did you just climb inside my brain, pull out its daily struggles, and then write the most beautiful article to sum it up!? YES you did. The list on my notes app of all the films and books I want to read is so long it makes me feel stressed (and like I need another global lockdown - for 10 years!!! - to make my way through it all). I’m so glad I’m not the only one. I love the intentionality behind your choices now; I’ve been wondering how to deal with this constant bombardment of things I want to read/watch/listen to, and so this is something I’m going to try my hardest to do in my own life. Thank you for this post! It’s the exact thing I needed to read this Monday 🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻

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Melissa Mowry's avatar

Thank you for your kind words, Katie! I'm glad it struck a chord with you. I think the more we each push back on information overload, the more we can change the collective push for more and more and more. Glad to be on that journey with you!

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katie morley's avatar

Ps. That book by Oliver Burkeman was one of my favourite reads last year. Such a great book 👏🏻

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Kate Selner's avatar

I have those same slippers only in ankle height. The thick fleece is THE BEST thing to slip your feet in to on a cold Winter day. I love these words, and I've had my own experience of stepping back from allthethings and just letting life fall in my lap. I feel the same dizzying feeling upon entering a bookstore, or even a library. I want to read so much, but at the same time, I don't want to read garbage literature. I want a good story, one that hits me in the feels, make my spine tingle and hair on my arms stand on end because it's just THAT good. I am, strangely, perfectly ok with missing out on what's deemed popular these days, or trendy, or really, anything that gets a lot of people stirred up. My life may look boring, but to me, it's perfect.

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Melissa Mowry's avatar

Right there with you, Kate! It's a blessing to get older and realize we like what we like and can leave the rest of it for other people without (too many) regrets.

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Mackenzie's avatar

Four Thousand Weeks was such a good book! Eye opening for sure 😊💛

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Melissa Mowry's avatar

It really is. I'm still making my way through the back half of it, but I feel like I need to read it a few more times and take notes to really let it all sink in.

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BBruno's avatar

This is the best thing I have read in a while. I feel all of it and will spend some time thinking about how to step back, accept the limitations of time and let life gift me with what I need. Thank you. 🙏🏻

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Melissa Mowry's avatar

I'm so glad it spoke to you Beth!

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Katie Selina's avatar

I love this post and relate so much. I sometimes wish I could have a few more lifetimes, just to give me enough time to chase all the dreams I’d like to pursue but could never squeeze into a single life. (I have a post half written on this very topic!) ❤️

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Melissa Mowry's avatar

I hope you write the other half of the post, Katie! I'd love to read it.

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Mica Merrill Rice's avatar

Wicked good slippers are THE BEST!

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Melissa Mowry's avatar

I am totally sold on them! So freaking comfortable!

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Paula Di Marco's avatar

Thank you for this reflection. I believe overwhelm, along with a lack of focus and intentionality in what we do, are some of the biggest challenges we face today. There’s simply too much coming at us, coupled with the pressure to live life to the fullest—to experience everything. As I get older, I’ve come to terms with the fact that there are many things in life I won’t experience. But, as Mark Manson suggests, living a full life isn’t necessarily about breadth; it’s about depth in the things we choose to do.

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Michelle L Smith's avatar

Are you me? I have to intentionally slow down because I have too many ideas in my head. It’s the slow moments where the true brilliance lives!

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